


Numb

by cottonwoolsocks



Series: Whumptober 2019 [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Character Study, Emotions, Gen, Logan Needs A Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, numb, or not i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-12 05:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21229523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottonwoolsocks/pseuds/cottonwoolsocks
Summary: Logan was numb. He prided himself on it.





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> Did I hear someone order some Logan angst?

Logan was numb. He prided himself on it.

The others joked about it often, about how robotic he seemed, how emotionless.

Logan agreed. The way he looked at things analytically, from the standpoint of science and fact, made him seem cold, unfeeling. He understood. He did.

That was what he was good at.

Understanding, analysing, noticing patterns and trends. Spotting data similarities and little mistakes. He could look at a sheet of data and almost instantly pick out a spelling error, an inconsistency, incorrect working. It was just the way he worked.

However, he was unable to apply the same level of analysis to social and emotional settings.

People expected him to understand such abstract concepts as _sarcasm_ and _humour_, when really he thought everything would just be easier if people said what they were thinking, clearly and concisely, and that would be that. It was one of the reasons he got on so well with Remus, someone who always spoke his mind and left nothing to the imagination. Logan could ask for clarification, and Remus would give it to him without batting an eyelid, unlike the others who complained of it stunting the conversational flow or that Logan was being too pedantic.

Logan didn't think there was any such thing as ‘too pedantic’. All ideas were worth exploring, no matter how seemingly far-fetched or outlandish, and all would lead to other questions and conversations in that way he adored.

He didn't find the _concept_ of emotions negative, but more their execution. Why should the way you feel about something affect what should be a rationally thought out and planned idea? Why should you hold back on sharing thoughts and feelings because of fear of them being ‘wrong’, when wrongness only led to learning and growth? Why should he be expected to give people compliments he didn't mean and engage in discussions about things both parties already knew the answers to, without an eye for growth?

But it hadn't always been this way.

A long time ago, Logan had smiled. He had joked around with Patton, shared creative quips with Roman, and even enjoyed partaking in the arts in his spare time, drawing and listening to music for no reason other than his own enjoyment.

But times had changed. _They_ had changed. The emotions of others had damaged him one too many times, in one too many ways for him to justify them as a reasonable activity to spend time on. His own emotions had caused harm to not only him, but those he loved, and they had made this clear.

So he cut it away.

Time spent leisurely was replaced with planning work schedules and researching important topics. Movie night with Patton was replaced with science documentaries. Time spent debating with Deceit became law textbooks and watching political debates. The little moments, like when he would be reading a book while Virgil listened to music, while Roman drew, while Remus brainstormed—substituted with his own intellectual development, with making sure Thomas stayed on top of his priorities, with ensuring everything was orderly.

He became cold. Analytical. Judging. Things worked more smoothly that way.

If he pushes aside the useless _feelings_, he can move forward to the important things, keeping Thomas healthy and productive, maintaining the delicate equilibrium between work and play.

If he shut off his emotions, he would be listened to. He would not be written off as over-emotional or frustrated, but instead respected as logical and factual, as he should be.

He is Logic, after all. ‘Logan’ was just a figment, an idea that proved ineffective. ‘_Logan_’ never existed.

Logic is numb. He prides himself on it.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
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>   * Questions
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> This author sees and appreciates all comments, but may not reply. If you don't want a reply, leave "whisper" somewhere in your comment and I will see and appreciate from afar!
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> [say hi to me on tumblr!](https://cottonwoolsocks.tumblr.com/)


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